Everyone is talking about The Edge at Midtown. What retail will move in? Will the development be good or bad for the area? Do you think it fits in with the rest Midtown? These are valid, pragmatic questions deserving sincere and informed responses. You will get none of that in this post. Instead, let us take another look at this video through the eyes of a techno-mystic who by use of grainy pixel video gives insights into life in the years to come.
Light a candle and burn some incense. Scroll to your pagan music playlist and put it on repeat. In a Nostradamus-like fashion read carefully and meditate on the visions of the future as foretold by the Cornerstone Development team.
1. Music. In the future we will all be listening to something similar to a washed-out loop from Atomic, by Blondie.
2. Sunbathing Standing. A new fad will catch on for sunbathers by the poolside. People will freeze in mid-stride and strike a natural pose instead of lying down on lounge chairs.
3. Sports Cars and Hummers. Although nearly every present day authority on automobile use in America suggests that gas guzzlers will trend down in the wake of hybrids, this will not happen in Midtown. Will will continue driving sports cars and hummers.
4. Business Clothes. Unfortunately it’s not looking good for changes to our business attire. Suits, button ups, and skirts to the knees. Some of us were hoping that the corporate culture would relax on formal business dress standards but, clearly, we’re in for more of the same.
5. Fireplaces in Summertime. In Midtown we will burn our fireplaces in the middle of the summer. Perhaps in the future this means we’ll have a Southern California climate instead of record breaking heat waves and drought conditions. Maybe we’ll just have more natural gas than we know what to do with.
6. Oklahoma City Thunder. It was hard to tell but we’re almost certain that the Oklahoma City Thunder was on the television playing basketball. We never would have guessed that the NBA would move their standard season to cover the summertime. What a bold move. Also, it looks like the Thunder will have lost a lot of fan enthusiasm since we’ll prefer working on our tans instead of watching the games.
7. Skin Tone Matching Bathing Suits. In the future you will go to the mall and have the swimwear store match your skin tone to your bathing suit. It’s cool to look naked from a distance.
8. Alcohol. It looks like there was a bar at the pool. That can only mean in the future Oklahoma will have not yet totally banned alcohol.
9. Pool Rules include BMI maximums. One day apartments in Midtown will enforce a BMI maximum limit at poolside venues. Either that or Mick Cornett will have succeeded in making everyone in Oklahoma City skinny.
10. The Mystery Tower. By the time The Edge at Midtown is completed and fully occupied there will be no changes to the city skyline. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that this means Stage Center is still standing.
The future is looking pretty good. We’ll all be healthy, drinking cocktails at a rooftop pool, driving sports cars, and living in Midtown.